This morning, I woke up convinced that the apocalypse had arrived—except instead of zombies or asteroids, it was a brutal 5-degree freeze that turned my bedroom into a meat locker. As a certified coffee addict, my first bleary-eyed move was to stumble toward the kitchen for my sacred morning brew. But oh no, the coffee maker—my loyal companion of five faithful years—decided this was the perfect day to stage its dramatic exit. It gurgled once, like a dying walrus, then went silent. Betrayal! No hot java to thaw my soul? Unacceptable.
So there I was, bundled up like a deranged Michelin Man in every layer I owned, trudging out to Walmart in subzero hell. The wind slapped me like an angry ex, my nose turned into an icicle, and I swear my eyelashes froze mid-blink. By the time I snatched a new coffee maker off the shelf (victory!), I was a human popsicle dreaming of tropical beaches. Moral of the story: Never trust appliances in winter—they're clearly in cahoots with Mother Nature to make us suffer. But hey, the new one's brewing perfection now, and I'm finally defrosting. Coffee: 1, Cold: 0.
Have a wonderful day!
